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polycanard

by Area Resident

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Full album also comes with three printable original artworks by Chelle Lorenzen (heychelle.com) including the cover, should you choose to burn your own CD.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 CAD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 9 Area Resident releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Operation Cue, phosphene, polycanard, quasar, jardinova, viscount, echolette, delano, and 1 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $32.40 CAD or more (40% OFF)

     

1.
There's no place like home by the riverside Have your hands touched like ours Outside ourselves But will you leave it alone? Just leave it alone For once There's no place like home by the riverside When you leave and you breathe and you take All your time But will you leave it alone? Just leave it alone For once There's no place like home by the riverside It's so simple to wrinkle the softest Things you wear But will you leave it alone? Just leave it alone For once
2.
I save cigarette butts for a poor girl Across town We were making marriage plans And someone came over and took her to A wrestling match Well, later that evening Frankenstein and the beauty queen Sat thumbing through a Better Homes & Gardens magazine Making plans and holding hands And along came a spider that sat down beside her and took her to A wrestling match A had a dream about these angels -- I had a dream the other night It was really weird They were playing guitars, and getting loud And they spilled beer on Jesus I save cigarette butts for a poor girl Across town I spend a lot of money at the pizza shop Just to watch the waitress walk Back & forth I save cigarette butts for a poor girl Across town I went over to see her at her house And there she was, it was her and him They was having a wrestling match I save cigarette butts for a poor girl Across town
3.
You don't have to open up And it's not up to you If you don't want to You don't want to And you don't have to save up You don't have to put up the price If you don't want to You don't want to Two hours to go Your blue eyes will close It's alright Go home You don't have to live it up You don't have to build it up If you don't want to You don't want to Two hours to go Your blue eyes will close It's alright Go home
4.
Viscount I 03:37
It's hunting season, I see no reason To be at school all alone I got my hand out for the handout A pack of Viscount I For all your trouble, there on the double I got a lighter too! They're long & skinny They're Top Jimmy You got nothing to lose Make sure to cover all the holes And suck that smoke right up your nose It's hunting season, I see no reason To be at school all alone I got my hand out for the handout A pack of Viscount I I got my hand out for the handout A pack of Viscount I When winter comes Will you still be alone? When winter comes Will someone ever notice you? Make sure to cover all the holes And suck that smoke right up your nose
5.
Sinking feeling at the top of your legs A frozen porpoise in a freshwater lake My head is humming and my hands on the make Guy Lafleur really knew how to skate I've been up For so damn long I just heard the papers come All night long All night long Met a tallboy on the way to beach Forty seconds then into the breach Time is flying In Utero and Bleach Maurice you make me sick when you speak I've been up For so damn long I just heard the papers come All night long All night long
6.
Don't ask a Mason to rebrick a thick, evasive red brick wall And all those decent people trading fear for menace under God Too bad your microscopic science lost its foothold on the plot Or how creative people traded in their paradise for lust Turn in your tax receipts, deceits and measures of your weightless pounds As far as I'm concerned you burned the kettle reaching for the pot Cliche society Mired in high school hyperbole, I Must have tried a million times, but I Still can't collect the prize
7.
If you didn't care what happened to me And I didn't care for you We would zigzag our way through the boredom and pain Occasionally glancing up through the rain Wondering which of the buggers to blame And watching for pigs on the wing You know that I care What happens to you And I know that you care For me too So I don't feel alone on the weight of the stone Now that I've found somewhere safe to bury my bone And any fool knows a dog needs a home A shelter from pigs on the wing
8.
Something stirring emotion surfing Oceans surely salting Florida Shady character slowly stalking Pigeon lady offers up her bench Underprivileged Tuscan orders Lonely people wonder what that means Have a hand in your ugly business Wash them off and get away from me Get away from me Misdirecting traffic signals Put your hands back upon the wheel Corsica Sunbird Honda hybrid Make your turn and get away from me Have a hand in your ugly business Wash them off and get away from me
9.
It's worse than a home It's worse than appears It's a plague on us all It's too bad you're here But I've been here all along, watching you carrying on And I've been biding my time Oh what a farce it is, it is It's worse in the spring It's worse than appears It's a plague in the fall It's too bad you're here But I've been here all along, watching you carrying on And I've been biding my time Oh what a farce it is, it is
10.
Quasar 04:44
Sinking quickly in the deepest of ends Heart is racing from the panic it sends No star, the quasar it's only light Silver fossils in museums of Rome Wearing gloves because the future is chrome Stop scuba we all got the bends Our planet is too hot on the ends No star, the quasar it's only light Sinking quickly in the deepest of ends I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah Silver fossils in museums of Rome Wearing gloves because the future is chrome Stop scuba we all got the bends Our planet is too hot on the ends No star, the quasar it's only light I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah I don't care if it's the only way out Yeah
11.
They hardly fake it at all sometimes, the pleasant stuff It is so contrived And when it stops There is no surprise I get stuck They're saving face when they talk sometimes, the inane stuff It is so unkind And when it comes You just can't deny you've been stuck Well, I don't want to listen to you Listen to you now I don't want to listen to you Listen to you now They've got two faces that talk sometimes, that's the bad stuff It's in overdrive And when it comes You'd be almost wise to be stuck Well, I don't want to listen to you Listen to you now I don't want to listen to you Listen to you now
12.
I won't tease you if you say you can't stay There's no way I could do it anyway Believe me, this is going to be the day No excuses in any word that they say I don't want to see you in convulsions I don't want to see you in convulsions And they don't deserve you anyway I won't leave you if you say I can't stay There's nowhere I could go anyway So believe me, this is gonna be the day No excuses in any word that they say I don't want to see you in convulsions I don't want to see you in convulsions And they don't deserve you anyway
13.
I'm so far down I'm going sideways There's so many hours now in my days But six feet on the surface, they say Beats six feet underground anyway I'm hunkered down In a government town Infected world surrounds me now There's so many hours now in my days I'm so far down I'm going sideways I'm hunkered down In a government town Infected world surrounds me now
14.
Neon stars in the wooden sky A plastic shirt and a silver tie Elastic fish in the deep, dead sea And English pound for an ounce of weed In the canopy Twisted roads and crooked teeth Filling suppers and an empty tea Open concepts and broken minds Bolts of light through the tallest pines In the canopy

about

Polycanard gets its name from a nonsense word coined by myself and Jordon Zadorozny during highschool French immersion classes. We would constantly ask the same teacher -- "Monsieur, qu'est-ce que c'est un Polycanard?" because we loved his reaction and animated, annoyed dismissal.

The cover art is inspired by the word, and created by Chelle Lorenzen in the style of famed Hipgnosis illustrator and graphic designer George Hardie, whom we love. I love them both.

Most of these songs are unreleased demos, recorded on a red, basttery-powered Fostex digital 8-track which used compact flash cards for storage. Once completed, songs had to be exported and deleted so another could be made. Therefore, remixing and overdubbing on these was not possible.
So, these songs show a novice home-recording hobbyist developing his sound, style and craft.
This is how I work -- I don't write songs before I record them. I create demos and then decide if it's good enough to tweak and release, or re-record, tweak and release. Between 2003 and now, there are more than 200 of these demos.

The two live tracks on Polycanard are sound stystem line-out mixes from the Area Resident set at Barnstorm 2018 in Finch, Ont.

credits

released July 29, 2022

All tracks mastered by Jordon Zadorozny.
Non-demo material produced and mixed by Jordon Zadorozny as well.
Artwork by Chelle Lorenzen -- heychelle.com

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Area Resident Ottawa, Ontario

Area Resident is Doug Hempstead. A CBC radio journalist twice-a-day and basement recording artist by night. This is the music he makes, mostly alone.

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