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1. |
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We still got the remote for the Electrohome
32-inch screen, it's just like my own
There's an orange couch and a hide-away bed frame
And a Frigidaire range that's been left in the rain
It'll be golden now
With the new carburetor attached
Set aside your giant aquarium
And the telescope that sat in the solarium
There's a piano sitting in the snowbank
And an ironing board that is rusty and dank
It'll be golden now
With the new carburetor attached
Rippin' discs on your iMac G3
Reach into the old snowblower for me
There's plenty of space for you to futon
And more than one element to heat your soup on
It'll be golden now
With the new carburetor attached
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2. |
Chateau Of A Doubt
01:59
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Don't look uneasy when you go
Beyond a chateau of a doubt
Don't drop that Churchill in the snow
Must be some way to get Karsh out
Beyond the chateau of a doubt
We'll bring one in and swap them out
Beyond the chateau of a doubt
Don't look uneasy when you go
Don't drop that Churchill in the snow
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3. |
Phosphenes
04:46
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It took just 15 minutes for me
to fall for you
We took 15 years away
You're so smooth
You waited 15 minutes for me
To talk to you in secret code
We took 15 years away
You're so smooth
I will close my eyes
There will still be light
Focus on the phosphenes in my sight
It was a 15-minute drive
to the hotel
We took 15 years away
You're so smooth
You're so smooth
Playing rough with me
I will close my eyes
There will still be light
Focus on the phosphenes in my sight
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4. |
Crepe Paper Leaf
04:08
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Those changes we never saw
Forgiveness you never got
Dictated all your lies
You do it full time
How in the world do you expect me to stay and to leave?
You just shuffle your words and I'm not going to ever believe
Your darkness is out of control
We're having a feast
Your creations unread and your art is a crepe paper leaf
Those dangers we never saw
Acceptance you never got
Dictated all your divines
You do it full time
How in the world do you expect me to ever believe?
You just shuffle your words and I'm not going to stay to receive
Your darkness is out of control
We're having a feast
Creation unread and your art is a crepe paper leaf
Creation unread and your art is a crepe paper leaf
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5. |
Grow Up
03:12
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I can see your footprints but the grass is too short to mow
It's not the only thing I'm waiting for to grow
Like a sliver in the ocean
From the row boat's broken oar
It's not the only thing waiting on the ocean floor
If you were me you'd be losing touch
If you were me, you grew up too much
I can see the flowers by the window in the empty room
It's not the only thing I'm waiting for to bloom
Another swimmer in the ocean
And a treasure on the ocean floor
It's not the only thing we're all drowning for
If you were me you'd be losing touch
If you were me, you grew up too much
Don't you grow up
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6. |
The Hammer Of Lazarus
03:52
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Too long now you've been staying at your mother's house
And I know what's going on
Are they fibs?
You took the kids to Stowmarket where that butler lives
My hammer hangs on the kitchen wall
They've been right for so long
Voices tell me where you've gone
Every night now you've been dreaming about the butler's house
And I know what's going on
I'm not a dope I got a rope
What's going on in Halstead?
My hammer hangs on the kitchen wall
They've been right for so long
Voices tell me where you've gone
My hammer hangs on the kitchen wall
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7. |
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He's the second-worst mascot in the NHL
He got 15 years for burglary
Kidnapping as well
He attempted to shoot his son
Was awful, on the run
He embezzled so many funds from the bogus charity he runs
He's the second-worst mascot in the NHL
Posed for photos with a veteran
Who was a sex offender as well
He duct-taped both the hands
Of his two kids, as planned
And when he's not at the rink, he's a weatherman
It's my face in there
But I won't reveal it
Hide my face in there
I will conceal it
He's the second-worst mascot in the NHL
Posed for photos with a veteran
Who was a sex offender as well
He attempted to shoot his son
Was awful, on the run
He embezzled so many funds from the bogus charity he runs
It's my face in there
But I won't reveal it
It's my face in there
That I will conceal
I'm gonna flood a jailhouse rink
The game is almost on
Gonna fire the T-shirt cannon
Send one over the wall, over the wall
The second-worst mascot in the NHL
He's a weatherman
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8. |
Compelled
05:39
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There's more than you could do
The chores are everywhere
Someone left them there for you
Leave it all
That way
Someone left them there for you
There's more than you could do
It's easier, so much easier
If I put that stuff away
Put that stuff away
There's more than you could do
The chores are everywhere
Someone left them there for you
Leave it all
It's easier, so much easier
If I put that stuff away
Put that stuff away
This time
There's more than you could do
The chores are everywhere
Leave it all
That way
It's easier, so much easier
If I put that stuff away
That way
It's easier, so much easier
Put that stuff away
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9. |
Son Of A Bitch Song
04:46
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There's always one son of a bitch song
On every goddamned record
One stupid, son of a bitch song
I just can't stand it
I bet I've sung this son of a bitch song more times than I have counted
I don't care what I sing anymore
This is nothing I would ever write
I don't care what I sing anymore
This is nothing but a waste of time
Just leave it on there
No one really cares
That son of a bitch song
No one cares
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Area Resident Ottawa, Ontario
Area Resident is Doug Hempstead. A CBC radio journalist twice-a-day and basement recording artist by night. This is the music he makes, mostly alone.
Area Resident recommends:
Instant Holiday Album
by Jim Bryson
What I aspire to, currently
go to album
My musical kin since I was a teenager and before.
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